Margot Mondays – my new title

17 Mar

I apologize for skipping Margot Mondays last week.  Margot caught her first cold the weekend prior and, like any self-respecting new mom, I was awash with nerves over the whole thing.  She’s still feeling a bit icky, but doing better now.  Whew.

The other reason is that today is my first day back to work and, well, I wanted to spend every moment with her and really soak it all in.

To go along with my new “Mom” title I get to be “Working Mom.”

I had four great months with her at home, and I’m grateful for that.  Yet I can’t help but feel that there’s something a little cruel about forcing parents (dads, too!) back to work when babies are so little.  The Mom Guilt is strong today, and though I love my job and my colleagues I’d really rather be at home in my jammies singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.” It’s one of her favorites.

We have a nanny part-time, with Mike being home a couple of days a week. I’m supremely jealous of this. I’m not sure how evenings and weekends are going to cut it for me, but there’s nothing for it. And I hope beyond hope that Margot loves her new nanny and that the days go well.

I think the hardest thing is that I imagine her looking for me throughout the day, unsure of where I am and when I’ll be back.  That’s hard to think about.


Mike reminded me that getting that great, big smile when you come home at the end of the day makes it kind of worth it.


18 Responses to “Margot Mondays – my new title”

  1. jmlindy422 March 17, 2014 at 1:38 pm #

    Best of luck to you! The pic of those feet made me laugh out loud. We had a nanny and, while I would rather have been home, she was great and our son loved her.

    • Loni Found Herself March 17, 2014 at 4:12 pm #

      Thanks! I’m sure our nanny will be great, too, but I’m finding it hard to trust anyone (other than family and best friends) with my bebe. I’m probably certifiable. :)

      • jmlindy422 March 17, 2014 at 6:59 pm #

        I’m sure you feel like you’re over-reacting, but you’re not. That’s your baby, for crying out loud! You know her better than anyone and, even with a nanny, you always will. BUT, I think almost all new mothers think they are over-reacting or acting nutty.

  2. the usual bliss March 17, 2014 at 2:07 pm #

    I love that photo. You are so inspiring, Loni! Four months is a dreamy maternity leave but I’m sure it’s torture to leave for work. I’m sure Mike will send you photos all day long of cute moments and you’ll enjoy the pleasure of being welcomed home, missed by both of them.

    • Loni Found Herself March 17, 2014 at 4:13 pm #

      Thanks, Amber! Mike DID send me photos. And then he called and I got to listen to her babble for a bit. So that was nice (and bittersweet).

  3. Mike March 17, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

    Believe me Margot missed her mommy and has a big smile waiting for you. Hope you had a great first day back! Love you!

  4. Lynn March 17, 2014 at 4:39 pm #

    Leaving your baby those first days is so hard. A number of years ago, here in Canada, our maternity/paternity leave was extended to a 1 year period. Such a better time period for parents to be able to spend with their children. I am certain your wee Margot is well cared for & loved. Know that no one will take the place of her mommie:)

    • Loni Found Herself March 19, 2014 at 9:09 am #

      I’m so jealous of my Canadian friends. I would LOVE to have a full year with her. I’m happy to report, though, that she had a great day with her nanny yesterday!

  5. Kendall Coleman March 17, 2014 at 6:41 pm #

    Dad loves you Loni!! Everything will be O.K. :)

  6. Ann March 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm #

    Darn it, I was going to call you today to see how your first day was but I didn’t get home until an hour ago… I love you and am so proud of you and I know that you have found just the right person to spend some time with Margot. And it just makes all the other time with her even better.

    Lots of love and catch up soon! I was thinking of you today but I’m sorry I never got the chance to call.

    • Loni Found Herself March 19, 2014 at 9:10 am #

      No worries and, as I type this, we’ve already spoken! So glad to talk to you yesterday. XOXO

  7. Kathy March 18, 2014 at 9:11 am #

    It’s hard going back to work. I planned to take 3 months off with my son, but it ended up being only 9 weeks. I made a life changing decision that forced me to go back to work, but it was the right decision to make. Matt went to daycare 3 days a week and my mom took care of him the other 2 days. It was during that time that my mom and Matt really bonded. I am so happy he had that time with her. We also had a really great daycare, and even though my husband was home when my daughter was little, I sent her there at 18 months so she could play with other kids and learn more than we could teach her. I can’t believe my kids will turn 15 and 8 this year. Being a working mom isn’t easy, but when you see your little one (or big one) at the end of the day, it’s worth it. I wish you all the best and hope this transition back into the work world isn’t too difficult.

    • Loni Found Herself March 19, 2014 at 9:12 am #

      Thank you, Kathy! We also plan to put Margot in preschool at around 18 months to 2 years so that she makes some friends and begins the “schooling” part of her life.

      I’m so happy that your mom got to spend so much time with your son, too. I’m sure he has wonderful memories of her as a result.

  8. mrsruthwebb March 19, 2014 at 3:24 am #

    It is so hard going back to work after baby. But, if it helps, I have really enjoyed being a working mum. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard at times and tiring, you have to be a good juggler and have a good support network, but I feel very fulfilled. I’ll be starting my maternity leave next week ahead of baby no.2 and already apprehensive about going!
    Good luck Loni. Another exciting new chapter x

    • Loni Found Herself March 19, 2014 at 9:12 am #

      Ruthie, I can’t believe your second will be here so soon! Congrats, again, and enjoy that maternity leave!

  9. hunting for bliss March 19, 2014 at 7:44 pm #

    Ugh, what a hard transition for you. I can only imagine what that’s like. I always go back to the fact that Matt’s mom worked and left him at daycare. He has great memories of daycare yet he has a very close bond with his parents…gives me hope😉 Hugs xx

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