I apologize for skipping Margot Mondays last week. Margot caught her first cold the weekend prior and, like any self-respecting new mom, I was awash with nerves over the whole thing. She’s still feeling a bit icky, but doing better now. Whew.
The other reason is that today is my first day back to work and, well, I wanted to spend every moment with her and really soak it all in.
To go along with my new “Mom” title I get to be “Working Mom.”
I had four great months with her at home, and I’m grateful for that. Yet I can’t help but feel that there’s something a little cruel about forcing parents (dads, too!) back to work when babies are so little. The Mom Guilt is strong today, and though I love my job and my colleagues I’d really rather be at home in my jammies singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.” It’s one of her favorites.
We have a nanny part-time, with Mike being home a couple of days a week. I’m supremely jealous of this. I’m not sure how evenings and weekends are going to cut it for me, but there’s nothing for it. And I hope beyond hope that Margot loves her new nanny and that the days go well.
I think the hardest thing is that I imagine her looking for me throughout the day, unsure of where I am and when I’ll be back. That’s hard to think about.
Mike reminded me that getting that great, big smile when you come home at the end of the day makes it kind of worth it.